Last time, we made a fun list of characters you’d want to avoid at an 888poker table. That list was eclectic and intriguing.
Now, if we seek out people in pop culture, real and fictional, who’d make the list?
In this article, we switch it up and identify five more people you’d love to see pulling up a seat next to you.
1: Kanye West
Arrogance and poor self-control are two of the most crippling traits a poker player can have. These qualities make Kanye West a great person to play poker against.
‘Modest’ isn’t often associated with ‘Ye'; his biggest weakness would be his ego. He is audacious and loud and seems to blur the lines between deluded and confident.
In a short clip on Before Fame's YouTube channel, Kanye boldly compared himself to creative masters like Andy Warhol, William Shakespeare, and Walt Disney.
He brands himself as “The number 1 most impactful artist of our generation”.
Whether you agree with him or not, it's hard to imagine someone as arrogant as Kanye having the self-awareness needed to succeed at anything other than the strip poker tables.
Kanye seems to have poor emotional control, too. His social media feeds regularly broadcast live tantrums and rants, and many of these are deleted later. This action shows a sense of impulse and regret, traits typical of someone who struggles to control their emotions.
Upcoming interview with @JustinLaboy @TheDownloadShow pic.twitter.com/EqTHuLIwiQ
— ye (@kanyewest) February 12, 2024
'Ye has a lot of money to splash around, too. Forbes estimated his 2023 net worth at around $400m, allowing him to play at any stake.
When we couple this bankroll with his wild personality, he has the potential to be an absolute gold mine at the poker table.
2: Fletcher Reede
Only the nerdiest pub quiz champions are likely to recognise Fletcher Reede. But you’ve probably heard of Liar Liar, the Jim Carey movie from which he comes.
If you're still drawing a blank, don’t worry. All you need to know is that Fletcher is a workaholic lawyer whose son’s birthday wish leaves him unable to lie.
Due to this inability to lie, Fletcher would be great to play poker against because the curse would hinder his ability to play correctly.
Fletcher couldn’t make any loose c-bet or semi-bluff. He would have to adjust his bet sizes to match the precise strength of his poker hand since the curse is very strict in the movie.
He would be an open book to read and, therefore, easy to beat.
But his impediments would go deeper than limiting his bet sizing. In the movie, it's not just that Fletcher can't lie but also that he can't control the truth.
He cannot ignore a question and is compelled to tell anyone within earshot exactly what he thinks of them, even if they didn't ask.
Beating him would be as simple as asking him about his hand and adjusting accordingly… not that you’d need to; he’d probably blurt it out freely.
3: T-Rex
Dinosaurs probably don’t make many people’s ‘dream table’ lists, but T-Rex could be fun to play against. It’s got nothing to do with the poker, either.
T-Rexes were extremely smart, and it would be difficult to think clearly, knowing they could devour you at any point.
T-Rex makes the list because the sight of one trying to count chips, read the poker board or peek at its cards with its little arms and gigantic head, would be utterly hilarious.
Though, you’d have to be pretty brave to laugh in its face!
4: Scrooge McDuck
You’ve undoubtedly heard of the lovable Disney character Donald Duck, but do you know his billionaire Uncle Scrooge? Scrooge McDuck, to give him his full title, is Disney’s take on Dickens’ Ebeneezer Scrooge and shares many of the same traits.
He is greedy, bad-tempered, and incredibly wealthy, precisely why he’s made the list.
A character with a tight, greedy personality might seem like a strange choice. However, most people lean towards wild, aggressive whales when choosing their dream opposition, and you can understand their logic.
- Wild, degenerate lunatics offer the potential to win fast, easy money.
- Who wouldn’t want that – especially if you’re considering where to play poker in Vegas?
Unfortunately, many people are so focused on this upside that they forget about the headaches these players can cause.
With just a little run good, a wild, aggressive player can leave a huge, whale-shaped dent in your bankroll. It’s hard to draw dead in poker, which means you’re always just one suckout away from losing an eye-watering amount of money against a lunatic.
The exact opposite of a loose aggressive maniac is s a ‘nit’. Nits rarely bluff, waiting for strong hands before committing chips to a pot. While the style can be profitable against the right opponents, nits bluff too infrequently and are easy to beat if you invest the time and avoid paying them off.
Scrooge is a textbook ‘nit’. He hates to part with money, and this strategy would lead to him playing way too tight.
Nits might not lose a lot of money quickly, but they leak small amounts consistently, which adds up over time. Typically, nits over-fold and bluff too little
You would likely push Scrooge around with some simple c-betting and blind-stealing strategies.
He’s emotional and grumpy, but his nitty nature means he’s likely to tilt passively. He would revert to more calling and less betting.
- It’s a style of play known as loose-passive and is the easiest to beat.
- You value bet big and fold when nits bet.
If you’re disciplined enough, Scrooge McDuck’s bottomless pit of money could prove a very reliable, low-risk source of profit.
That’s precisely the reason why he’s made the list.
5: Mike Sexton
We’re not adding Mike Sexton to the list as a criticism of his poker skills – far from it. As anyone who had the pleasure of chatting to him, Mike had a smooth, calming persona and was a fantastic storyteller.
If you were lucky enough to bump into him at a poker festival, you’d find him surrounded by an audience listening to funny tales about his incredible poker career.
When Mike spoke, you wanted to listen. He would add elements of class, calm and entertainment. So, while he’s unlikely to have been a huge source of easy money, his mere presence would improve the atmosphere at any table.
As the voice of the WPT Poker Tour, he was revered by fans, players and fellow commentators alike.
He will be sorely missed…
So, there we have it: a fun list of players you might like to play poker against.
Who would you choose from the list?
